52:22 Prince Caspian by C.S. Lewis

Well, being too pissed off to do much else today, I decided to lose myself in my books as much as the kids would allow (which was quite a bit as they realized I was not in a mood to deal with any of their usual crap).

So my impressions of Prince Caspain (made before getting in such a horrid mood). Decent book but way too much emphasis on descriptive scenery with a decent nod to a plot and almost no character development. In all honesty, this would have been much better cut down and used to start an adventure book rather then being the entire thing. Just not enough meat on the bones of this one. On to The Voyage of the Dawn Treader.

Can't F*cking Take Any More!!!!

Seriously, stick a fork in me cause I'm way over done. On top of Matthew breaking is arm in Feb, more Dr. apts than I care to remember between that and their "Nico is autistic" crap, the state deciding that the statue of limitations had run out on any return we were due for an old tax return even tho the money due was because they had garnished Mark's wages for over $700, Mark's job stress, then my transmission blowing out yesterday...as if all that weren't enough...Today I get a letter from the State saying that they didn't receive my 2006 return and they want over $3600 in late fees, penalties, and everything else under the sun! I filed them late, yes, I admit that, but I filed before the deadline they gave me!!! I DID EVERYTHING RIGHT!!!! But now the receipt that I had proving that I mailed it has mysteriously vanished (I'm blaming a pair of feet almost 3' tall for that) and I'm just done. I literally broke down crying hysterically because this is just more than I can take any more. We will try talking to the state but CA is so freaking broke that they really don't give a sh*t about anything except f*cking people for every little cent they can. Our post office sucks so I'm sure there is no record I could possibly pull. They have cost us sooooo much money by not delivering notices and bills until they are on their final notice and tons of late fees and penalties have been incurred.

Seriously, I can't take any more. I'm shaking and trying to keep the tears back as I really need to go deal with the kids. I just don't understand why this is all happening. We are trying so hard to be good people, help others who are in need, and get our act together and out of debt and now out of nowhere in 24hrs, we are looking at another $5500 worth of debt staring us in the face and more than half of it is totally undeserved! I HATE THIS!!!!

Matthew's taking a bath!!!

Yes, I know, it shouldn't be a big deal for a 9½yr old to be taking a bath but it means that HE IS CAST FREE!!! The xrays showed that he has healed beautifully with nice new bone growth and it seems we may have dodged the bullet and it hasn't actually damaged the growth plate. Big, huge sigh of relief there. His pin is out, his arm is sore, but he is a very happy guy right now just soaking in a big bathtub of warm water.


In truck news, it was the transmission as we were afraid of. This has not been a good year for the budget in regards to my truck. We've already spent $500 on new tires, $200 on new brakes, now I've just authorized $2200 for a rebuilt transmission and we still need to spend another $200 on a new starter. It better be nice and happy for a good long time now after all this TLC. I know it's 12yrs old and it's pretty normal wear and tear, but sheesh, did it all have to happen within a 2mo period of time??? *sigh*

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Insight from the Dalai Lama:
If our love for someone is based largely on attraction, whether it be their looks or some other superficial characteristic, our feelings for that person are liable, over time to evaporate. When they lose the quality we found alluring, the situation can change completely, this despite their being the same person. This is why intimate relationships based purely on attraction are almost always unstable.


State of my sink: I'm afraid to look

Got stranded in Berkeley today

My transmission decided to crap out on my suburban when I was out there for a field trip with the boys today. I know it could have been worse as we were able to pull over easily in a safe location, get towed to local AAA shop and get a rental car all within 2hrs of this happening but still. We had just come up with a plan for busing out butts to come up with an emergency fund and get out of debt and now this! We are totally broke right now and will be until next week when Mark gets paid again and we will likely have to borrow money to get this fixed. It just sucks and I am trying hard not to just break down sobbing at this newest set back. Doesn't help that the repair shop didn't call back today like they said they would and by the time I got back home and could call them, they had all gone home for the day so now I have to wait til tomorrow to see just how bad this is going to be. I'm guessing since I saw the guy pushing it into the bay because the transmission totally gave out when he tried to testdrive it that it's not going to be good.

Of course all of this had to interfere with Nico's nap too so now he's ultra cranky and I'm ultra-stressed. Not a good combo. Ugh!!! And then add in Mark's job stress and it's just not happy times over here right now. I keep trying to look at the bright side...Mark is still employed, we were able to get home safely, and while we will probably have to miss Baycon totally now to pay for this, we should be able to dig out of this quickly and get back on track.

But it still sucks.

A few quick updates on things...

I realized after talking to several people in the last week that I have been lax on updating a few things around here so let me take a moment to do so now.

• Baby Jonathan (my friend Jen's son) is home now safe and sound where he belongs. The meds and transfusion did their job and his liver is repairing itself so no transplant needed, thank G-d. He is on a special formula tho, along with several meds, and will continue to receive out-patient care for a while to come but he is mending and he is home so that is wonderful news.
• On the homeschool ruling that was basically saying that all children needed to be in a classroom with an accredited teacher. That ruling has been dismissed and the case is to be reheard. I have been following what's going on through various homeschool organizations and our charter school but it has not changed how we are doing things in the slightest.
  
• My friend Crystal who was having all the problems with pre-term labor gave birth on Sunday to a healthy baby boy at almost 38wks gestation. Mom and baby are doing well.
• Matthew's arm has been itching and driving him nuts and I'm very thankful he hasn't gnawed the cast off (tho he does need to watch how he moves that thing LOL). We have an appointment in Ortho tomorrow for x-rays to see how things are healing and hopefully they will remove the cast. He has a countdown ticker on his blog for this event. LOL
• Things are still crazy with Mark's job situation. Still overworked and understaffed. *sigh* He keeps getting told to hire some people but then everything blows up and the time he tries to carve out for reading resumes and interviews gets eaten up by other emergencies. He's planning on working late for the next bit to try and get the time to do that and catch up on some other work but he's really down about the whole work situation right now. Please continue to keep him and his company in your prayers.

I think that's about it. It's another crazy week here with a field trip today, drs apt tomorrow, and our face-to-face Thursday plus our usual activities and getting ready for a birthday party on Sunday. Thankfully the boys' speech teacher is on vacation this week so we don't have that and Jon wasn't feeling great yesterday morning so we called off OT and that gave me a few extra hours to my week. I managed to get everything ready for our f2f so that's done and I've started in on the taxes. As much as I would love to just get an hour or two all at once to just get them done, I don't think that's going to happen so I'm going to try and just do a little piece at a time so they get done and filed sooner rather than later.

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Insight from the Dalai Lama:
I feel that Americans are interested [in Buddhism] because they are open-minded. They have an education system that teaches them to find out for themselves why things are the way they are. Open-minded people tend to be interested in Buddhism because Buddha urged people to investigate things--he didn't just command them to believe.


State of my sink: Shiny!

So what did I get done?

Glad you asked. Still not everything on my list since, as always, things crop up but I don't think I did too badly.

Saturday

• Thorough clean of cat box area (Mark & Chris)
• Thorough clean of rat stuff (Mark & Chris)
• Thorough decluttering of boys' room (me & big boys) (ok, not a thorough decluttering but we found the floor, their table, their bed, their lego shelves, and their game corner and got through a whole bookcase. We still have the other bookcase, toy chest, and stuffed animals to get through but it was still a ton of work.
  
• Phonics lesson with Jonathan (actually did on Sunday and only got the one done but hey, better than nothing)
  

Sunday

• Get tax software from mom (Mark & Nico)
  
• Balance checkbook & Pay Bills
• Clip coupons, make menu & shopping list (and the rest is almost done)
  
• File taxes (nope, didn't get near this one *sigh*)
  
• School with boys
• Agendas, PE Logs, Attendance records, pull work samples for F2F meeting this week (not much left to do here)
  
• Update wall calendar

Dishes stayed done and the laundry kept getting cycled through but not folded. Probably won't get to that tonight but we don't have speech tomorrow, just OT so that frees up a little time. Yeah!

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State of my sink: Shiny!!!

Introducing Ruby and Louise

Our two newest family members were brought home today, a birthday gift to Jonathan from his Grandma and Papa Davis! Ruby is a very light lilac hooded rat and Louise is a black hooded rat. They are both very young, not yet full grown and were actually saved from being snake food by our intervention. They are still a bit skittish but are responding well to being handled and hopefully will calm down with more constant affection and maturity.

52:21 The Lion, The Witch, & The Wardrobe by C.S. Lewis

Ok, this one is a re-read for me but I haven't read it in ages, I loved it as a child, and I want to read the entire series (I know, I know, bout time) and then we are going to use it as a literature study for Chris.

What can I say about this book that hasn't already been said 1000s of times before? Nothing really. It's an enchanting and lovely tale of Peter, Susan, Edmund, and Lucy discovering Narnia and Aslan. A fairy tale with mythological leanings that creates, by the, end a place ripe for imagination to delight in. I'm looking forward to seeing what the rest of the series holds.

Weekend to-do list

So in the interest of actually, maybe, hopefully, possibly getting everything done, I'm trying to pare down my to-do lists to a more manageable size. So here goes with this weekend's list:

Saturday

• Thorough clean of cat box area (Mark & Chris)
• Thorough clean of rat stuff (Mark & Chris)
• Thorough decluttering of boys' room (me & big boys)
• Phonics lesson with Jonathan

Sunday

• Get tax software from mom (Mark & Nico)
  
• Balance checkbook & Pay Bills
• Clip coupons, make menu & shopping list
• File taxes
• School with boys
• Agendas, PE Logs, Attendance records, pull work samples for F2F meeting this week
• Update wall calendar

And of course, stay caught up with dishes and laundry which is never ending.
Wish me luck!

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Insights from the Dalai Lama:
When in the company of others
I shall always consider myself as the lowest of all,
And from the depth of my heart
Hold them dear and supreme.

Happy Birthday Jonathan!

Hard to believe it's been 7 years since my monkeyboy entered this world. Our adventure actually began on April 2 when I started having this very intense pain like a sword running through my mid-section. Mark was working late trying to get a release out but by 12m, I was not longer able to hold anything down and could tell something was very wrong. I finally got ahold of him around 2a after trying for 2hrs and he came home and got some sleep. I tried to sleep but couldn't through the pain. I knew it wasn't contractions but I had no idea what was wrong. I called into L&D later that morning and we all agreed I should get checked so we headed in after dropping the two big boys off at school.

Then the fun began. I wasn't contracting but the tests showed I was dehydrated and my kidneys and other vitals weren't happy. They decided to put me on IV fluids to see if I just had a virus or something and they would rerun the tests in the evening. They did say, however, that if the numbers didn't start looking better, they would induce in the morning. I wasn't overly concerned at that point but did ask what the risks were since I was only 36½wks along. They told me at this point, the lungs were developed and the risks would be minimal to Jonathan. Mark hung out with me for a bit then went to go get the boys from school and get the suitcase. They hung out with us for a bit and then got picked up to go home. Mark went and rented movies from Blockbuster and we just continued to hang out. The tests were rerun and the levels were not where they wanted to see them so we were put into a better birthing room and the administered the cervical gel in preparation for inducing in the morning.

I wish that night were a blur but it's not. I'm a huge advocate of nurses as I think they are a vital part of the medical field and perform some of the most thankless tasks in the name of patient care but oh, man, the nurse I had that night almost got strangled! They needed to keep an eye on Jonathan's vital signs. Got that. It's kind of important to make sure he's doing okay. They want my blood pressure to stay down. Okay, I can understand that too. Unfortunately, in order to keep my bp down, I needed to be on my left side but in that position, they couldn't get a reading on Jonathan so this nurse came in and treated me like a piece of meat on a spit, rolling me from back to side and back again every few minutes. All this when I'm contracting and am supposed to be getting induced in a few hours which means LABOR! I finally told Mark if she came in and tried to turn me again, I would rip her head off (this had been going on for over 2hrs at this point and I still think I deserve a medal for not having gone off on her already). He, being the most wonderful husband ever, went out to talk to the midwife and told her the problem and said she needed to choose which was more important, my bp or monitoring the baby and that she needed to get a new nurse in there pronto before there was a serious smackdown administered. She confirmed that all of that was not good for me and that monitoring the baby was most important. She also got a new nurse in there (apparently we were just about at shift change). The new nurse had an awesome system. She kept me on my back and resting. When I had to get up to pee (which was frequently enough because of the IV fluids), she would notice and come in to help me get back into bed on my left side. She would leave me there for 10min and then run the bp, then get me back onto my back and reposition the monitors to keep an eye on Jonathan. Worked like a charm. I got to rest, they got to keep an eye on Jonathan's vitals, and they got a nice bp reading at least once an hour. I also begged her to let me take a shower before the induction as I knew I'd be bedbound until the baby was out once they started. She talked to the midwife and it was agreed I could have a 15min shower just before they got things started. Ahhh...heaven!

So around 6a they started the pitocin. I was determined to try and go as natural as possible but by 8a I had had enough. The contractions were strong and constant and my body had zero control over them so I begged for an epidural. They started checked me out and realized I was at 9cm (so much for the epi) but something wasn't right. The midwife got the dr to come in and check with an u/s and sure enough, little stinker had flipped and was now breach (we aren't sure when this happened but Mark still thinks it was that nurse flipping me for hours that caused it). Due to my almost non-existent platelets they didn't want to risk delivering him that way so now we were talking emergency c/s. Ok, fine, can someone stop the pitocin then? They are prepping the room but because of the platelets again and how fast he's trying to come, they are going to have to do a general. Great, can someone PLEASE turn off the pitocin?!?!?!?! They all go about getting the c/s prepped, Mark can't be with me, I'm going to be out for the birth but the only thing going through my mind is that I need to PUSH! I tell them that and they freak out and tell me absolutely not to push. WELL, THEN TURN OFF THE PITOCIN!!!!! I was knocked out by 9a (and very relieved to not have to keep from pushing).

The next thing I remember it was 12n and I was waking up in recovery (different area). The nurse came over and told me I had a son. Thanks, knew that. And I fell back asleep. I woke a few hours later (3p maybe) and was finally able to be wheeled up to the maternity ward. Mark met me there and showed me a picture of Jonathan. It was all I was to see until after 5p. He was in the Level II nursery and the nurse couldn't be bothered to bring him to me (amazing how the day nurse never could but the night nurses had no problems at all). His blood sugar was too low and he needed to be on IV fluids until my milk came in. It wasn't a big deal but one that made it very difficult while we were in the hospital as I was always fighting with the nurses to be able to see my baby, even going so far as to have to walk down the hall less than 36hrs after my c/s to go nurse him. Ugh!

But a few days later we were all home and a bit of jaundice was our worst problem. He grew quickly but refused to sleep unless being held. And in 7yrs now, that hasn't really changed. He still won't go to sleep unless there is someone in the bed with him. LOL

It has been such a joy and blessing to be his parent. In 7yrs, we have all been blessed with his joyous smile that truly does make the world a brighter place, his laughter that seems to make the sun shine, and his cuddles which can make the worst thing in the world not quite as bad. He is one of those people who literally just makes the world a better place simply by being him.

In 7yrs, we have seen him go from a constantly squirming babe-in-arms to the true monkey that he is, climbing everything with abandon. We have pulled him off of furniture and refrigerator tops when he was 18mos, off walls and doorways before he was 4yrs, and out of trees with branches too small to hold him when he was 5yrs. He's gotten a tiny bit better at realizing what could be dangerous to climb but we all know, if you can't find Jonathan, look up.

In 7yrs we have watched him grow into the sweetest, cuddliest, sensitive, caring, compassionate, energetic, helpful, cheerful, joyful, and just generally happy child. We love you sweetie. We love being your parents. We love being part of your life. We love watching you grow. We love your smiles, your laughs, your cuddles, your hugs. We love you!

The Holiday Shopping Has Begun!

Yep, it's official, I just crossed the first two people off my Christmas shopping today. WooHoo!!! I also have one niece's birthday all wrapped up and the other one started and one of my nephew's done as well. And almost everything was 50% or more off! *doing the happy dance* Oh, yeah, and I picked up a couple of cute new shirts for me too at 60% off. Yeah!!!

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Insight from the Dalai Lama:
I always say that every person on this earth has the freedom to practice or not practice religion. It is all right to do both. But once you accept a religion, it is extremely important to focus your mind on it and sincerely practice the teachings in your daily life.


State of my sink: Still shiny!

52:20 The Total Money Makeover by Dave Ramsey

A dear friend of mine read this book and recommended it so I checked it out and I'm so glad I did. Not a get rich quick scheme but it showed us a few of the errors we were making with our money while trying to get out of debt and I think it will help me to convince Mark of what we need to do to live debt-free which has been our hope. We will have our emergency fund fully funded by the end of this month with his bonus and by June will be starting to really knock down our debt while saving for all those things that come up like birthdays, holidays, car repairs, clothing needs, etc. We've been trying on our own but our plan was a bit faulty which always left us scrambling when a car would break or life just decided to smack us. Now we have a simple but very workable plan and we hope to be debt free except for our house in 2yrs or less and then we can start saving for retirement, college funds, and a new house in earnest!

Busy Couple of Days

Nothing super exciting, just getting lots of little things done around the house. Almost found my breakfast counter again, cleaned out the closet late last night so I had a place to put Jon's presents which I had just wrapped, cleaned out the beach towels, listed a bunch of stuff on freecycle and it's almost all spoken for, taught a bunch of lessons to Jonathan, talked to our new mortgage company (apparently our loan got sold), basically read an entire book (yes, in two days), took the boys to game night, got the laundry caught up including getting everything hung up properly, kept caught up with the dishes and shining the sink, cleared off the changing table which had gotten buried yet again, and got Jonathan's invitations out. So yeah, just a few things are getting done. Yeah!!!

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Insights from the Dalai Lama:
In my childhood, I had a religious assistant who always told me, "If you can really laugh with full abandonment, it's very good for your health."
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Ultimately all human beings want to pursue the path of peace.
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The creatures that inhabit this earth-be they human beings or animals-are here to contribute, each in its own particular way, to the beauty and prosperity of the world.


State of my sink: Shiny of course!

What is that?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

April Fool's!!!!

So excited!!!!

Yes, I know this is my third post basically in a row but each of these has been so different in content from the others that I felt they each deserved there own space and this one in particular has me wanting to cartwheel in street. Matthew has finally taken to reading!!!! As in, he has actually finished a chapter book voluntarily and found one of his other barely started chapter books and has been reading in it every spare moment lately reading!!! This the child who I had to bribe (with basically no success) to read anything other than Garfield or Bone books. I'm thrilled beyond belief that he has finally realized that reading is so wonderful. He also started his own Shelfari page and posted it on his blog and I've set him a challenge of a book a month from March til the end of the year. He has finished the first one and is close to halfway through the second one even now. What does he win if he meets the challenge??? A trip to the bookstore to buy any new chapterbook he wants of course!

Day 1 on the schedule

Just thought I'd update on how our first day (yesterday) went on the new MOTH schedule. Mr. Anti-Schedule was up to his usual tricks and woke for an hour at 5:15a, just when I was scheduled to have my morning routine time to get dressed, start laundry, answer emails, etc. Despite this, the morning did go fairly smoothly through until evening when Mark ended up working very late so I didn't get to Curves and we ended up eating Safeway chicken for dinner because Mark wasn't home to cook while I was shopping during the boys' KSW. This did end up leading to the kids going down a little later than desired, but not by much. All in all, I have to say it was a very good start.

Now technically that schedule is only for MWF but the morning routine will be the same through 9a every day (yes, even most weekends) so we tried it again this morning. Of course, Nico decided to wake up again during my morning routine so again, that time got thrown off but we recovered....until we had a visit from a strange dog that just wanted to play with the boys. It took about an hour and a lot of running around on the part of the boys' to return the dog to it's owner by which time we had to leave for Nico's hearing test and to run some errands. By the time we returned Christopher was sporting a severe headache and the other boys were just done in so we will do a bit more reading but otherwise, call it a day in regards to schedule or school. Actually our TTh for the next two weeks have something to throw them off (more dr's appointments, field trips, ect) so we will just be concentrating on the MWF full schedule and trying to stick to our morning and evening schedule the rest of the time. Have I mentioned yet how much I'm sick of Dr's appointments and how happy I'll be to go a month without one????? Hasn't happened yet this year. *sigh*

Wow, really, he can hear?!

Gee, think I've seen too many drs lately that love to state the obvious? Yes, Nico had his hearing test today and the results were astounding. He has absolutely no problems with his hearing whatsoever. Really, I'm shocked, speechless even. *insert huge eye roll here* Actually, the two amazing things of the appointment were that he actually behaved well and did what he needed to do so we were out of there in 10min and that I heard everything too so I guess he hasn't damaged my hearing yet with all his shrieking. I do think I've suffered some brain damage tho as every time he does it, my head wants to split wide open and leak my brains all over the place.

Also got the results of the abbreviated ASD screening in. What a freaking crock. I was right to worry that they are going to do everything they can to find something, anything to be able to label him. The report went so far as to say that what I was reporting as behavior likely due to motion sickness and lack of sleep is not consistent with what they expect. Well, f*** that. I guess I must be autistic too then because that is EXACTLY how I behave under those circumstances. I can NOT look people in the eye when I'm like that as the peripheral movement makes my head swim worse and tends to make me throw up. What freaking ever. Honestly, even if he is (which I highly doubt), he is an even milder case than Christopher. He doesn't have any of the really worrying signs which would point to a case that truly needs intervention and I know that I actually let them keep testing him, they'll find someway to label him. It's the new fad diagnosis and since everyone can technically fall somewhere on the spectrum anyway, it's easy enough to get diagnosed with something. At this point, I'm done with this witch-hunt unless I start seeing something that actually troubles me or one of the Drs or specialists we see on a more regular basis tells me to be concerned. I will admit that I had to look at Mark and say "told you so". You'd think by now he'd just listen to me straight off, it saves so much time and trouble.

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Insight from the Dalai Lama:
If you must be selfish, then be wise and not narrow-minded in your selfishness.


State of my sink: Shiny!!!

52:19 Wicked by Gregory Maguire

Not quite sure what I was expecting after all the hype and reading Confessions of an Ugly Stepsister but it wasn't this. It's not a bad book by any means and I did enjoy it but not as much as Confessions but I'm not sure why. I think there were just a couple of places where he just stopped the story only to pickup a few years later and it felt jarring to me and left me wondering "so what happened in between?" I really wanted to know more about what her life had been like when she went underground before Fiyero found her. I'm sure that what she experienced during that time would have had a further impact on her worldview and outlook but that part was totally skipped. On the whole an interesting concept and a good read but it did leave me scratching my head a bit in places.

It only took 3 days (+ 1mo)

But today I finally got our MWF MOTH schedule done. The TTh one will be a lot easier since much of it can be copied from this one but this one has so many added complexities with all the activities that get packed into them so I wanted it done first. The one downside to the schedule is it looks like I have to get up at 5:15a in order to get done everything I need to do at the times I need to do them (thank you so much my non-sleeping one) but if his Nickness cooperates, I should be getting bed by 10:30p so not a horrid amount of sleep (even if I can still count on at least one wake-up a night). Of course I know that by the time we actually get disciplined about using it and it has become routine, we'll be onto our summer schedule, but hopefully that same discipline and at least the morning and evening routines can carry over through the summer and then into the following year. Yeah, yeah, you can stop laughing at my delusions now. Hope, prayer, and faith are the only things that keep me from running away screaming into the night. Let me keep them.


In other fun things this weekend, I got to see something I haven't seen in, oh, must be 10yrs now:



Yep, that's my hubby in a TIE!!!! (okay, and even the tux 10yrs ago was collarless so no tie) He was pouring for Diageo at the Worlds of Whiskey expo this weekend and having a grand old time for himself. As the dutiful little wife, I've been very supportive of his whiskey passion but hey, a girl can only hold back so much before busting out in laughter and this one did me in. Yes, I think he's terribly handsome no matter what but seeing my headbanging, mosh-pitting, earring wearing, tattooed husband in a white shirt and black tie was just too much for me. So I laughed long and hard, til the tears rolled down my cheeks...but not until after I had snapped the picture so I could share with everyone. Who knows, this could be better blackmail than anything else I'll ever get on him. He finally found something worth selling out for.

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Insight from the Dalai Lama:
Compassion is what we must strive to cultivate in ourselves, and we must develop it from a limited amount to the limitless.


State of my sink: Shiny except a few dinner dishes.

Bunch of dumb quizes

Yep, it's late and I'm tired so what do I do? Go to bed? No, I sit here and aimlessly check around friends' blogs and take stupid quizes instead of trying to actually get caught up on my sleep. Sleep deprivation makes us do stupid things sometimes.

So what were my results? Glad you asked. Here we go:

Nice to know we could survive for a bit:


Yep, I'm a geek....of course, now I'll be up all night wondering which ones I got wrong tho.


Now this is something that has definitely been keeping me up at night wondering about


Amazing stat considering what normally comes out of my mouth


Should I be worried about this since it was taken as I'm sitting here falling asleep and having had no caffeine in about 10hrs? I got 198 clicks in 30s.


Well, at least I know that this is definitely not on my top 5 ways to go now. I'd prefer a quicker death please.


And I tried taking the one about how wordy I was but, well, hmmm....I think I broke the test because it didn't give me any results at all. I think it was stunned by my brilliance or something like that. Yeah, yeah, that's definitely it. Definitely.

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Insight from the Dalai Lama:
The mental outlook is very, very crucial to sustaining peace of mind.


State of my sink: All nice and shiny again! Yeah!!!

Settling back in

Our vacation went well. There was a mix up on our staying arrangements so we ended up having to cut the SD part of the trip a bit short which was a shame but hopefully we'll be able to go down for a visit later when there isn't all the craziness of the holidays. The boys all had a good time getting to play with their cousins. There are two other boys that are around Nico's age so that was nice for him. It was very cute to watch him engaging them and playing their own games together. BIL and the gang came down so Matthew and Jonathan got to play with their girls and there was another girl cousin there that was close to Christopher's age. The only downside of the visit was when everyone went swimming and poor Matthew couldn't go. I had intended to stay out and spend time with him but Mark wanted me in the pool to work with Nico so there went that idea. Matthew came out and sat there for a bit and then started crying. He so desperately wanted to join in and it's the only time I've seen him be so down about having broken his arm. :( I told Mark to get out and get him out of there for a bit so they went off to Fry's and to go get some shorts for him and Nico for Easter and just hung out. When they came back he was in a much better mood.

Easter was lots of fun as always. The Easter Bunny came and visited our hotel room to fill the boys' baskets and hide some eggs for each of them. Unfortunately, they started getting up at 4:30a which did not sit well with me since we hadn't arrived at the hotel until about 3:30a the previous morning and I was still exhausted. After the excitement of finding the eggs we headed over to Mark's grandparents house for the day. All 5 of MIL's siblings were there and most of their kids as well so it was a full house with aunts, and uncles, and cousins galore. I can only hope that when my boys are grown with families of their own that we can have gatherings like that. It's so wonderful to see a family that remains so close.

We left for Visalia on Monday to visit with my Godparents and had a marvelous time. The only bummer there was that Kim had to work so we got to spend very little time together. I'm hoping to find time for a longer visit soon.

We came home on Wednesday so we could try to get a few things done while Mark was still on vacation. We've had no time to get or keep caught up on the house stuff and have been in perpetual fire-fighting mood and we really want it to end. Mark also has his World of Whiskey thing this weekend so that is taking up a good portion of his weekend so we don't have that time. We did manage to get the truck unloaded already, the laundry is now all done and almost entirely put away, and most of the unpacking is done. Unfortunately we had a pipe break under the kitchen sink last night and much of today has been devoted to repairing and cleaning up from that. Thankfully that is all done now too so maybe I can work on a few other things.

We did manage last night to go through the Master Chore List and I'm hoping to get the Activities Worksheets done tonight so that Mark and I can go over all that tomorrow before he leaves again so I can get to work on the Chore Packs and our MOTH Schedule. I really want to have a family meeting to go over everything on Sunday and start working on putting it into practice starting this week.

Speaking of which, I can't believe it's only a week til Jonathan's birthday! Where has that time gone??? I know, I know, I say that of all the kids when their birthdays are upon us but seriously, I really don't know how it happens. It seems that quite literally I blink and I go from pregnant to newborn, to toddler, to now 7yr old! It just seems surreal how quickly they grow up. You can be sure I'll be writing more on that in the coming week.

I hope everyone had a wonderful Easter and is enjoying their Spring Breaks (those without snow that is). Pictures from our trip coming soon!

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Insight from the Dalai Lama:
People once considered that religions were obsolete and that material science would solve all human problems. Now they have become disillusioned with materialism and machinery and have realized that spiritual sciences are also indispensable for human welfare.
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It is quite simple: if you do not smile at people, but frown at them, they respond similarly, don't they? If you deal with other people in a very sincere, open way, they behave similarly. Everybody wants to have friends and does not want enemies. The proper way to create friends is to have a warm heart, not simply money or power.
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The essence of all spiritual life is your emotion, your attitude toward others. Once you have pure sincere motivation, all the rest follows. You can develop this right attitude toward others on the basis of kindness, love, and respect, and on the clear realization of the oneness of all human beings.
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Because we all share an identical need for love, it is possible to feel that anybody we meet, in whatever circumstances, is a brother or sister.
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In general, I always state that I have three commitments in life. Thirdly, I am Tibetan and carry the name of the Dalai Lama. Tibetans place their trust in me. Therefore, my third commitment is to the Tibetan issue. I have responsibility to act as the free spokesperson of the Tibetans in their struggle for justice. As far as this third commitment, it will cease to exist once a mutually beneficial solution is reached between the Tibetans and the Chinese. However, my first two commitments I will carry on till my last breath.
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Compared to physical and verbal activities, mental activity is more subtle and difficult to control.
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State of my sink: Ummmm...you did read about the broken pipe right??? It will be back to shiny tonight tho! I was shining it when it happened last night so it's only todays mess to take care of now that everything is working again.

52:18 The Cat Who Saw Red by Lilian Jackson Braun

The 4th installment of the series. I found this one a bit more slow going, a bit more obvious, and it seemed a bit more stretched. It could have easily been a bit shorter and tighter in the writing. Not a horrible book, but definitely not as fast moving as the previous three. I'm hoping the next one picks up again.

Update on take-off

So here's the to-do list:

*Schoolwork with boys (got this done for today but still have more to do before we leave)
*Make beef stroganoff for dinner.
*Make spaghetti sauce since we defrosted the freezer last week and Mark was unsure as to the state of the sausages so pulled them out to check and they are now defrosted and need to get used before we leave. (going to work on this first thing in the morning)

*See if I can figure out what to do with the 12 defrosted chicken breasts in my fridge. Maybe crockpot those overnight tonight??? They are in the crockpot right now.
*Do speech with Jonathan 2xs (did it once)
*Figure out how to keep Nico in the house since he has now figured out how to unlock and open the doors to outside as well as climb over the gates. This is totally unfair. (no luck on this one yet)
*Bathe all 4 boys at some point today
*Get (and keep) the house picked up and vacuumed so we don't walk into a mess upon our return (picked up yes, vacuumed no but will work on that in the morning)
*Fold the 5 gazillion loads of laundry
*Go through and restock the toiletries bag
*Go through and repack the big diaper bag with toys and such for Nico
*Pack suitcase
*Get Easter baskets out of the shed so those can be packed
*Finish getting the truck cleaned out
*See if I can convince my children to stop demolishing my supply of rubber cleaning gloves by making them all into balloons (wish me lotsa luck on that)
*Get my camera and gear all packed up and ready to go
*Make sure big boys pack their bags with things to keep them amused on the long car trip (this is almost done)
*Grade a ton of papers (just have physical science left to grade and Matthew's math from today)
*Make a lesson plan of what I want them to try and do while we are gone
*Balance the checkbook and pay all the bills before we leave
*Make sure I have all the work I need to do while we are gone packed up (I want to work on our schedule and chores lists while we are gone)
*Figure out what else I need to get done that didn't put on this list

So got a bunch of stuff done, several things started. Here's hoping I can finish it all up before 3p.

What's left to do before we leave?

Um, everything?! About the only thing that has gotten done is the kids have started spending a little time removing some of their trash from the car and I've been sort of keeping up on washing and drying the clothes. Not folding mind you, since that takes being home to accomplish, but at least there is only a couple of loads of laundry to actually be put full through the process. So what I still need to do before we leave tomorrow around 3p:

*Schoolwork with boys (neverending and thanks to the big boys goofing off whenever possible and Jonathan's slow start but now good progress in phonics, we are bringing stuff with us even on vacation *sigh*)

*Make beef stroganoff for dinner. Mark was supposed to get this ready and into the crockpot but didn't have time to do it so I get to try and figure it out.

*Make spaghetti sauce since we defrosted the freezer last week and Mark was unsure as to the state of the sausages so pulled them out to check and they are now defrosted and need to get used before we leave.

*See if I can figure out what to do with the 12 defrosted chicken breasts in my fridge. Maybe crockpot those overnight tonight???
*Do speech with Jonathan 2xs
*Figure out how to keep Nico in the house since he has now figured out how to unlock and open the doors to outside as well as climb over the gates. This is totally unfair.
*Bathe all 4 boys at some point today
*Get (and keep) the house picked up and vacuumed so we don't walk into a mess upon our return
*Fold the 5 gazillion loads of laundry
*Go through and restock the toiletries bag
*Go through and repack the big diaper bag with toys and such for Nico
*Pack suitcase
*Get Easter baskets out of the shed so those can be packed
*Finish getting the truck cleaned out
*See if I can convince my children to stop demolishing my supply of rubber cleaning gloves by making them all into balloons (wish me lotsa luck on that)
*Get my camera and gear all packed up and ready to go
*Make sure big boys pack their bags with things to keep them amused on the long car trip
*Grade a ton of papers
*Make a lesson plan of what I want them to try and do while we are gone
*Balance the checkbook and pay all the bills before we leave
*Make sure I have all the work I need to do while we are gone packed up (I want to work on our schedule and chores lists while we are gone)
*Figure out what else I need to get done that didn't put on this list and do it all w/o Mark who will likely be working late again tonight. We had to push our departure time back by several hours already tomorrow to the time when normally we would leave and only drive halfway. Unfortunately, its too late to change our reservations now so Starbucks is going to have be our best friend.

ETA: 2 more things I had originally forgotten to put on the list.
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Insight from the Dalai Lama:
Basically, we all cherish tranquility, even those of us given to violence. For instance, when spring comes, the days grow longer, there is more sunshine, the grass and trees come alive and everything is very fresh. People feel happy. In autumn, one leaf falls, then another, then all the beautiful die until we are surrounded by bare, naked plants. We do not feel so joyful. Why is this? Because deep down, we desire constructive, fruitful growth and dislike things collapsing, dying, or being destroyed. Every destructive action goes against our basic nature; building , being constructive is the human way.

Where to start?

It's just been a crazy, busy week here and I'm not entirely sure where all the time has gone too. It just seems like I wake up in the morning at the ungodly hour of 5:30a, blink, and it's 11p so time to go to bed but with very little accomplished. I hate weeks like that! I'm going to try and do a quick fill-in on the basics around here quickly.

*Nico and the melatonin. Bottom line, when he takes it, things are good. He falls asleep easier and earlier, doesn't wake more than usual in the middle of the night, is easier to wake up in the morning while being a nicer child, and still naps. Unfortunately, he hates the taste of it and half the time refuses to take it at all no matter what we put it in. *sigh* He liked the Hawaiian Punch last night so tonight I have some orange soda laying around and we'll see if he likes that. Morale of this story....My sleep is all important after 20mos of not getting any and it's definitely more important than the harm from giving him a 1/4c of soda before teeth brushing and bed. Nuff said.

*Matthew is doing well and seems to be healing nicely. However, as he says "IT ITCHES!!!!!" Only 3 more weeks til his next appointment to see if things are healed enough to remove the cast. He's not amused. On the good side tho, besides his cheerful attitude (he keeps finding reasons to state how lucky he is even through this), he has a wonderful topic for his persuasive essay. *evil grin*

*Christopher is continuing to go to the school of hardknocks when it comes to learning the value of completing work quickly and efficiently. He is now having to do his schoolwork in the dining room with the rest of us and will be moving to a corner on the floor if he doesn't stop distracting Matthew. Somehow Matthew still manages to get most of his work done even when he's been being dragged to various appointments for the other kids while Christopher, who stays home, can't. *sigh* I hope he gets out of this phase soon cause it sucks.

*Jonathan is continuing to improve in his reading by leaps and bounds. It's taking very little time to go over the new concepts each day in his phonics and I'm getting a lot less resistance when it's time for him to read aloud to me. I can't believe he's almost 7 tho. Where the heck does the time keep going???

*Mark's work still seems to be constantly on fire for something or other and it always seems to be something that only he can do. You'd think that would be a good thing except that all the fires always get in the way of what his actual job is supposed to be so he's been continuing to work late trying to do it all. He's getting really frustrated by it (as am I since he's hardly home and when he is, he's cranky) and I can only be supportive and pray that things start turning around there. He's determined to stick it out and see this company succeed.

*Me, well, I'm just running around like a chicken with my head chopped off trying to keep up with everything and everyone. We went to a hockey game last night which of course has all the sleep schedules way out of whack. Lovely. We are also leaving for SD tomorrow and will be gone a week between all our visiting and I have yet to pack anything or do much of anything to get us ready. I've been wanting too but this is the first time this week that I won't need to leave the house for several hours while trying to keep the schoolwork up with the kids too. I'll be posting my todo list next just to kick myself in the butt.


So those are the updates on us. Thank you everyone who has prayed for Jen and Jonathan. I heard this week that his levels are going down and that they will hopefully be trying to wean him from the IV soon. Please continue to pray for them.

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Insight from the Dalai Lama:
If any sensible person thinks deeply, he will respect justice. There is an inborn appreciation and respect for justice within our human body. In children, we find what is natural to be the human character. But as they grow up, they develop a lot of conditioning and wrong attitudes. I often feel there is more truthfulness in a small child and I find reasons to have confidence in human courage and human nature.

True enlightenment is nothing but the nature of one's own self being fully realized.

In reality I believe that economic advancement and respect for individual rights are closely linked. Society cannot fully maximize the economic advantage without granting its people civil and political rights.


State of my sink: Shiny!!! (I've managed to keep up at least that much, sort of)

New Buisiness Website bought!

Yeah, you all knew it was just a matter of time before I came up with another business venture. I've actually got two that I'm in the process of working on but one is definitely much closer than the other and I just bought the domain(s) for it tonight. Hopefully in the next month I'll be able to announce the Grand Opening of the 4kidzcakepanz.com cake rental website. Stay tuned for that!

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Insight from the Dalai Lama:
We speak of three different types of faith. The first is faith in the form of admiration that you have toward a particular person or a particular state of being. The second is aspiring faith. There is a sense of emulation - you aspire to attain that state of being. The third type is the faith of conviction.


State of my sink: Ummmm....going to go work on that

52:17 The Wonderful Wizard of Oz by L. Frank Baum

Simply an enchanting book. I can't believe I didn't read it before now but I'm thankful not only that I've now read it but that I got to share reading it with my boys. A beautiful tale full of imagination, beautiful imagery, and lovely characters. This should be every child's bedtime story at some time in their lives. Even had I read it before, I would have done so again with my boys and I look forward to sharing it again with my youngest when he's of an age to appreciate it.

Now the boys want to read the second book in the series (I was thinking they'd want a break and do something else). Good thing I already have it in house. Jonathan has requested the third book for his birthday next month. Did I mention how much I love sharing these things with them???

52:16 Managers of Their Chores by Steve & Teri Maxwell

Again they've done a fabulous job of masterfully breaking it all down into very easy, basic steps with all the reasons behind the whys and hows to make things work all based on their personal experience with their own family and listening and surveying hundreds of others. I will admit that being Jewish and not Christian there were parts that I paid less attention, especially in the earlier chapters but I did read the whole thing and found it on the whole, while a little too biblical at times, to be an extremely valuable and well-put book.

Much to my children's dismay, I plan on spending the next couple of weeks working on our schedule and chores so that we can start things up once we get home from vacation. *insert evil laughter here*

Why do we do this????

It's apparently inevitable. You get some weird preliminary diagnosis or heck, just find out what you are being tested for, and you go to google and start looking up every buzz word the dr threw out at you to make your own diagnosis. This is inevitably incorrect, especially as all you hear are worst case scenarios, time wasting, and paranoia inducing. I've always, ALWAYS, told people whenever they are undergoing treatment or tests for something to back away from the google search engine.

So why in the name of all that is holy is it that the second I get a notice saying that Nico's lab results are available do I go check them out and then start googling over one I can't even be sure is abnormal or not because the format they gave the result in does not conform to the format the results range is in anywhere. Ugh, ugh, ugh!!!!

I'm off to go bang my head into a wall for doing the dumbest thing ever (especially since I KNEW it was the dumbest thing ever when I did it) and then pray that the Dr. adds notes to the records or calls me soon, definitely much sooner than our follow-up phone call on April 15. Not sure my few threads of sanity can wait that long to know what is going on with my baby.

(ETA: You all knew I couldn't just leave this alone so I did some more digging cause I'm that moronic and talked to a few friends that work in labs, others who have had thyroid problems, and compared them to Matthew's results from Sept and they do look normal so I'm breathing easier. It makes a lot of sense for both of them to have normal results and respond well to the melatonin and basically be dealing with the same issues. I do almost wonder tho if there isn't something environmental since it's affecting both of them at the same time when Matthew was an awesome sleeper as a baby. Hmmmm....something else to ponder)

In the good news tho, he's been responding well to the melatonin, going to sleep about 30-40min after being dosed the past two nights. Hopefully that will continue and we'll all get a bit more sleep around here.

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Insight from the Dalai Lama:
When we die nothing can be taken with us but the seeds of our life's work and our spiritual knowledge.


Sate of my sink: In need of work. I did a load of dishes yesterday but I still have a bit to do and the dishwasher didn't finish running until after I went to bed.

Catch me if you can!

Ok, this week has been insane with all the Dr. visits anyway but my friend just called and then asked if I would be around later and I realized exactly how crazy today is going to be. Just for fun (and so you all know why those nice young men in their clean white coats are circling my house LOL) I thought I'd list my afternoon here. This morning has already been filled with several phone calls dealing with trying to finish over all the banking issues, balancing the checkbook, teaching 2 lessons of math, grabbing a shower, and getting packages ready to ship for ebay sales.

So we leave at noon (yes, in just a few minutes) to:

*Drop off a necklace at someone's house
*Ship ebay packages at the post office
*Get lunch at In-n-Out
*Drop odds off at bowling with our CAVA teacher
*Take Nico for blood draw
*Stop at Babies R Us for diaper genie refills and childproof door locks
*Pick up odds from bowling
*Stop at bank and let the kids make their monthly deposits
*Go to Costco for monthly shopping there
*Come home, put away Costco groceries, cook dinner, collapse into a heap

Sounds like fun, no?

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Insight from the Dalai Lama:
Before we seek refuge from suffering, we must first deepen our understanding of its nature and causes. Doing so intensifies our wish to find protection from suffering. Such a mental process, which incorporates study and contemplation, must also be applied to develop our appreciation of the Buddha's qualities.


State of my sink: Hoping to get the dishes done before I leave so it will be nice and shiny again

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ASD Clinic update

Boy, I think Nico isn't too happy with all this stuff either as he chose to stay up til midnight last night and then woke at 6:30a this morning. I had a bad feeling this was not going to be beneficial to any sort of testing they might want to do with him. We got out about 20min later than I had wanted to thanks to Nico's early rising but managed to only be a couple of minutes late getting to the appointment. Nico fell asleep in the car about the time I was coming off the freeway and I allowed myself to hope that he would sleep in my arms for an hour while I talked with the Drs before waking himself up and showing them the true mischief maker we know and love. Alas that was not meant to be. :( He woke up immediately upon our arrival and I could tell he was not feeling wonderfully. I continued to hope for the best (in this case a modicum of cooperation and just a true viewing of what he is normally alike) but he was cranky and out of sorts. He played quietly for a little bit (yeah, I know, quietly??? I told you he was tired) and played a little with the Drs but not much. There was not much in the way of laughter of smiles or the silly games he loves to play with us. Of course, this brought up all the concerns because he wasn't making much eye contact or smiling responsively. Anyone who's met him knows that isn't his usual personality. After an hour, he had decided that he had really had enough of being there (okay, after about 30min he had had enough but I managed to sort of keep him occupied for a little longer) and it was agreed that they weren't really going to get what they needed so we left and agreed to do a phone interview later in the day. *sigh* I really had a bad feeling about trying to do something like this so early in the day with him and I'm sorry I ended up being right.

I was talking to Mark and my mom afterwards a bit and we do seem to have a working, plausible theory tho. The only experts who ever seen any ASD signs are the ones in SJ. None of the ones within about a 30min drive of us have had any thoughts along those lines, even when I've mentioned the concerns the other dr raised. Now Matthew and I both suffer from motion sickness and as we were all talking today, we realized that Nico is always quieter and more clingy after a longer cardrive (defined as an hour or more), much more subdued, not as talkative or smily, and it usually takes him an hour or two to warm back up. We hadn't questioned it much figuring a) it was kind of nice to have a quiet moment or two and b) he was just unsure of new places but now we are thinking he may suffer from motion sickness as well and that's what the drs down there are seeing. Not his usual self but one that is feeling ill from the long car ride (in addition to being sick at the last appointment). It's interesting and it really feels right to me so we are going to go with that and I'm going to work on getting any follow-up appointments with a developmental pedi transferred to SF to make sure. They are also supposed to be opening a new ASD clinic up there as well so if we do feel the need to do testing in the future, we will go to that one to again try and rule out any possible influences from the long car ride.

I brought this theory up during the phone interview and the Dr did seem to think it was at least plausible. We spoke for 2hrs and I think I was able to paint the picture of the real Nico clearly enough, at least I hope so. I'm still feeling, as I have all along, that this is not the right path to be taking for him at this juncture so I'm not going to pursue anything further with the ADOS or anything at this point. Between my motion sickness theory and my gut feelings it really feels like we would just be wasting everyone's time. If he truly is on the spectrum, something further will present itself at some point to raise someone's eyebrows and we will go from there but since at this point, none of the other specialists have shown any concern, I'm more than content to let it lie.

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Insight from the Dalai Lama:
If objects and people evoke attachment in us, we do not understand the true nature of phenomena. We can only become detached by realizing the true nature of things.


State of my sink: Shiny! (Thank you Mark!)

52:15 The Cat Who Turned On and Off by Lilian Jackson Braun

The third book in the series. Nice to see some further character development on the part of the main characters but it wasn't much. Still, I am enjoying the light, easy nature of the books. It was just the right speed for my poor sleep-befuddled head today.

Nico's Sleep Update - Pediatric Neurologist/Sleep Specialist

It was a good appointment. He asked good questions, went over my concerns, stated what his concerns where and a course of action. He is most concerned about how long it can take Nico to fall asleep and his quality of sleep, not so much about how little he sleeps. I'm to take him in to have his thyroid and iron stores checked (boy, that's gonna be fun) and start him on a 1/4mg of melatonin at bedtime. I can go up to 1mg of melatonin at bedtime and give another 1/4mg if he wakes and thinks its party time in the middle of the night. We have a phone conference to go over the results of the labs and how he is responding to the melatonin in a month. If things aren't showing signs of improvement, he'll be referred for an overnight sleep study (with me, of course) to see if they can find anything with that. Considering how well he took to being weighed, measured, and head measurement today...Let's just say I'm really hoping to avoid that.

He has also been referred for a hearing test because of the speech delay just to rule everything out there but he doesn't really think there's a problem with it but better safe than sorry. He also said "I'm not sure what Dr Cohen was seeing that caused him to think Nico was autistic. In my humble opinion, the only sign is the speech delay and that's not enough to label him." I'm still keeping the appointment tomorrow just so I look like a good little mommy following up on everything but you'll hear about me on the news if they try to tell me he is. I know he's not an angel and he may have his issues but I'd believe ADHD before I'd believe autistic and I don't think he's ADHD either but I'd still buy that first.

So there's the news there. After the appointment, we ran some errands including getting Jon his new DS. I'm still awaiting payment on one of the auctions but it was on sale now and there was enough interest in the auction that if I don't get paid, I should be able to either second-chance offer it or relist and get approximately the same price so I'm not too concerned. I also took the boys to see the Easter Bunny for the first time ever (horrible mom, aren't I?). It's too funny because Nico was all happy to sit on Santa's lap last year which I was amazed by but he wanted nothing to do with the humongous bunny. ROTFL He did warm up a little towards the end and was playing a little game with him and the eggs but still keeping a little distance. So needless to say, I ended up in the picture holding Nico behind the couch to get him in. I knew there was no way I was going to get out being in a holiday pic with Nico, it was just too good to be true. LOL I also ended up in the Disney store while we were at the mall. Bad, bad idea. You'd think I'd know better especially given Nico's obsession with Cars. I ended up getting him his own placemat and some new silverware and his own beachtowel (all Cars of course). I also got some new cars Cars for my purse to help keep him amused when we are restaurants and such. And, well, ok, I admit it, I couldn't pass up the $5 Thumper. Thank goodness Mark is working late so I have time to hide everything.

Now onto the ASD evaluation hell tomorrow. Have I complained enough about it starting at 9a in an office that is over an hour away without traffic or allowing drop-off of the big boys???? So yeah, I'm rolling the big ones out of bed at 6:45a (thankfully their normal wake time) and getting them dressed and in the car. Then I'm just plopping Nico in the carseat and going to BK and Starbucks for breakfast and heading out. Should be a fun time.

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Insight from the Dalai Lama:
When a problem first arises, try to remain humble and maintain a sincere attitude, and be concerned that the outcome is fair.


State of my sink: Shiny!!!! (hard to mess it when we haven't been home all day)

The punchline still needs work...

But it was cute anyway. The big boys were all telling a bunch of knockknock jokes at dinner tonight and all of sudden Nico starts saying "knoch knoch" over and over again and laughing hysterically. And if you asked him who's there, he'd point to the door. Funny kid!

In other news, Mark's company is continuing to have problems with one of their big clients. There is some bug that no one has been able to figure out where the problem is. They still aren't 100% sure it's even in their code but the client is 48hrs from pulling the deal. Please keep them in your thoughts and prayers to get this figured out as losing this deal could be the final nail in the company's coffin.

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Insight from the Dalai Lama:
The mind must be developed by you alone. There is no way for others to do the work and for you to reap the results. Reading someone else's blueprint of mental progress will not transfer its realizations to you. You have to develop them yourself.

State of my sink: Just the dinner dishes right now. Chris is unloading the dishwasher and I'm going to go bathe the evens and then I'll be shining it up proper.

Made it 3 weeks

Well, technically it might have been even longer since I bought books from the local bookstore but I think it was about that long since I bought the Philipa Gregory books from Costco. I tried to see if I could go a while before buying more since I know I have enough to last me a couple of years, but...well...I'm weak willed when it comes to books. Sue me.

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Insight from the Dalai Lama:
The female is the source of genuine human compassion.


State of my sink: Well, um, yeah, er.....

Watch out for exploding signs!

We've had an explosion of new signs from Nico this past week. Still not much in actual words but he is now trying to sign milk, apple, mommy, play, and cheese. It's so funny because if I ask him to say something, he remains silent but if I show him the sign, he'll imitate that. He is definitely determined to do things in his own way at his own time.

Oh, and while I wasn't able to get a pic of this it would probably fall under a "What posses him to do these things?" He wandered into the kitchen to grab a snack but instead decided to pour oil all over the kitchen floor. Go figure that his feet then became covered in oil and on a linoleum floor, he went sliding and down. I heard him get upset and went to investigate to find the mess he had made. All I can say is that thankfully, it was maybe a cup of oil not an entire container and it was the cheap Mazola not the expensive olive oil. Ahhh....the little things in life to be thankful for.

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Insight from the Dalai Lama:
Whatever forms of meditation you practice, the most important point is to apply mindfulness continuously, and make a sustained effort. It is unrealistic to expect results from meditation within a short period of time. What is required is continuous sustained effort.

State of my sink: Shiny!!!

Please join our prayers

As many of you may know, I have made many online friends in the past almost 8yrs now. One group of women I met online when pregnant with Nico. Recently one of these women gave birth to her second son, Jonathan (great name). Little Jonathan is 3wks old and still has not come home from the hospital and can use all the prayers and positive/healing energy people can send his way. I'm copying and pasting from a mutual friend's blog the whole story of Jen and Jonathan. There is a link at the bottom to PayPal money to our friend Jenny who is organizing GCs for meals, gas cards, and other things to help out during this difficult time. Please read the message, pray, and hug your babies tight.

Begin Message:
My friend Jen here in town, who has a son Max's age, Jacob, had a baby, named Jonathan on on February 12. He was born full-term and healthy, but after his first night after his birth, his blood sugar dropped and he has been in the NICU ever since. He was transferred to Children's Hospital here to work with specialists as they figured out what was wrong, something with his liver. They finally got a diagnosis, Neonatal Hemochromatosis.

Some info:
"Neonatal Hemochromatosis (NH) is a rare condition which occurs while the baby is developing in the mother's womb. Toxic levels of iron accumulate in the liver as well as other places in the unborn baby's body. NH looks very much like another condition known as "Hereditary Hemochromatosis" (HH) also known as iron overload disease which is genetic (see www.americanhs.org for more information on Hereditary Hemochromatosis) NH is not considered to be "genetic".

Here is the website for NH:
http://www.neonatalhemochromatosis.org/

I just feel terrible for them. We know what it is like to get a diagnosis that can be fatal to your baby. I don't want anyone to go through what we went through, and yet, Jen and her family are. They are doing some transfusions and some drug combinations to see if that will help repair his liver, and if not, he may need a liver transplant. Jen is a elem school teacher in the same district as Matt and we have gotten together often (even though we met online) to play with our babies - she was a great support when we were fighting TTTS.

So, we want to help her and her family. We are going to talk to them and see what they need the most, but we may make some meals to be frozen to take to them, help them with gas cards to get to and from the hospital, or just give them money to help with medical expenses, daycare for Jacob or anything else that they need during this time.

So, if you'd like to help them, you can make a donation to our paypal account and we will make sure that it gets put into something useful for them. In any case, please send your positive thoughts to them that their little boy with get through this and come home soon.

Our paypal account: colofisch@comcast.net

Ringtones abound

Well, since the boys now have new cool cellphones that accept good ringtones, I'm sure it comes as no big shock that the major decision was "What is my ringtone going to be???" We told the boys they can buy 2 ringtones a month using their own money or green discs so of course, they went shopping today. LOL

So we know have Christopher's phone with Mr. Brightside and Somebody Told Me by the Killers and Matthew's phone with We are the Pirates Who Don't Do Anything by the VeggieTales (coincidently the same song I have on my phone for him LOL) and One by Metallica.

Of course, listening to One prompted Nico to go ballistic if it wasn't playing constantly so I had to pull out the CD for him to headbang to. Yep, that's our kid. *rolling eyes* Not like I could expect anything else out of the child that screams for Guitar Hero constantly. Speaking of which, we got the new wireless controllers in for that today. I'm sure there is going to be a lot of testing them out this weekend.

The Homeschool Court Case

Article on how the case can be interpreted:
http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?file=/c/a/2008/03/07/MNJDVF0F1.DTL

Full brief of the court case:
http://www.courtinfo.ca.gov/opinions/documents/B192878.PDF

I've received several calls about this and how it affects us here. The answer to the question is we don't know. This was a ruling upholding a previous ruling from the 50s yet there is still homeschooling going on with no problems. We are part of a charter school but there is still a lot of question as to how that would protect us or if all charter schools using ISPs would be forced to close. There are still many appeals to be seen in this case so until we hear that either CAVA has closed or we are told otherwise, we will continue on as we have been going. I would be lying if I were to say that the implications of this case did not scare me. I do not wish to have my children be truant or give the law any reason to take my boys from me, but nor will I put them back in these public schools and the privates that I have seen are no better suited to them. Where would that leave us? I don't know. Honestly, I very seriously doubt that homeschooling will be totally outlawed as many are panicked about. I do understand that this whole case started because there were concerns of abuse or neglect of the children and the social workers wanted a better way to supervise their welfare, but children in public schools are still abused and very often it is not noticed or acted upon so I fail to see how this will solve all the problems. The vast majority of homeschoolers do so because they want a better education for their children, one which current public and private schools either cannot or will not provide. I was actually told yesterday during Jonathan's IEP that what we were doing was absolutely the best educational environment for him and I know for a fact that Christopher has grown tremendously since I brought him home so for me and mine, we will watch it closely but will proudly continue to school at home whether via charter or privately until I send my kids off to college or they send me to the loony bin.

If you'd like to help support this fight, please sign the petition below showing your support of a parent's right to homeschool:

http://www.hslda.org/Default.asp?bhcp=1

So much going on today

I don't have time or energy to go into details on the major stuff, like the homeschool court decision, so I'll make separate posts on those tomorrow. I just wanted to hit on a couple of quick, fun things that happened today, mostly so I don't forget them later. LOL

*Matthew finally got his own cell phone. He's only been bugging me about having one for over a year now. I originally told him when he graduated 5th grade, then it was when he started college for kids (which is when Chris got his), and well....he got it today. LOL Mark and Chris both had their phones die on them and need replacing so since Mark was there dealing with that, he decided to grab Matthew a phone too and be done with it all.

*We have one small problem with the above...Matthew and Christopher now have identical phones. I've ordered phone covers for them (one in a red flame job, the other black with a blue dragon) but in order to tell them apart for now, the boys have personalized their wallpaper with penguins and Naruto respectively. I did make them pay for their covers tho and they will have to pay for ringtones either with cash or their green behavior discs.

*I have new phone envy.

*Apparently so does Jonathan.

*Got through game night without Mark tonight. I left about 8:30p when Jonathan started running through the restaurant with the high chairs (like he does every month *sigh*) and took the two littles home and had a friend drop the older two off later.

*Played 5 Little Monkeys Jumping on the Bed with Jon and Nico. It's the first time we've tried actually playing a game with Nico (since he's barely 2, go figure). No, he didn't move the pieces according to the rules (we gave him his own to play with) but by the end, he had figured out how to wait his turn, spin the spinner, and imitate the actions we were supposed to act out for the different squares. Afterwards, Jon started bugging me for a bath and saying "plllllleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaassssssssssseeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!" to which Nico added his voice of "peeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee". Yes, they got a bath and Jon even washed Nico's hair. Gotta love moments like those. Of course, this was after the two of them had managed to break the top of the toilet tank. No, I didn't ask because frankly, I don't want to know.

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Insight from the Dalai Lama:
To develop patience, you need someone who willfully hurts you. Such people give us real opportunities to practice tolerance. They test our inner strength in a way that even our guru cannot. Basically, patience protects us from being discouraged.



State of my sink: Shiny!!!!

Ahhhh...summer school

I'll admit it, it's March and I was already dreaming about summer vacation. We always do a bit of school over the summer to keep the kids from going totally brain-dead but there's always been lots of play time and time for mommy to catch up on all the stuff that didn't get done around the house during the school year. So much for that idea this year.

I just got off Jonathan's IEP phone conference. No earth shattering revelations to report. He is making good, steady progress, is a joy to work with, and very smart but it's all still a work in progress. He still has problems with the intelligibility of his speech and his vestibular and bilateral OT issues. It was brought up by our special ed teacher about the idea of him being enrolled in summer school through CAVA so he could continue to receive services for an additional 6wks in the summer rather than having 2½mos with no services (cause at $800/mo that insurance won't cover, we can't foot that bill). Since I knew I would already be working with him on his phonics which we are very behind in due in large part to his speech problems and also because I know how much his speech regressed last summer even with me working with him on what the speech teacher had given us I agreed to enrolling him. I just hope that we can manage to keep summer school from causing burn-out for him or me. I was already considering basically a half-day approach for him over the summer so here's hoping that will be enough to appease the requirements and still leave us plenty of goof-off time. And of course, you know that field trips to Marine World are great educational opportunities to learn science (learning about animals), math skills (if a dolphin eats 50lbs of fish a day, how much do 3 dolphins eat a week), and reading (which way are the tigers).

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Insight from the Dalai Lama:
We are now in twenty-first century...The world is also facing a lot of new problems, most of which are man made. The root cause of these mad made problems is the inability of human beings to control their agitated minds. How to control such a state of mind is taught by the various religions of this world.

Within oneself, within each single person, one finds many inconsistencies and contradictions. Sometimes the disparity between one's thoughts early and late in the day is so great that one spends all one's energy trying to figure out how it can be resolved. This can lead to headaches. So naturally, between two persons, between parents and children, betweens brothers and sisters, there are differences. Conflicts and disagreements are bound to happen. If so, then how do we deal with them? If we have confidence in our capacity for reconciliation then we will be able to deal with these situations.

I feel love and compassion are the moral fabric of world peace. Let me first define what I mean by compassion. When you have pity or compassion for a very poor person, you are showing sympathy because he or she is poor; your compassion is based on altruistic considerations. On the other hand love towards your wife, your husband, your children or a close friend is usually based on attachment. When your attachment changes, your kindness also changes; it may disappear. This is not true love. Real love is not based on attachment, but on altruism.


State of my sink: Ummmm....yeah, let's not go there.

52:14 The Cat Who Ate Danish Modern by Lilian Jackson Braun

The second book in the "Cat Who" series by Lilian Jackson Braun. Another light, easy mystery featuring Qwilleran and his cat KoKo and introducing YumYum. This time Qwilleran has been put on the decorating beat where theft, deceit, and murder follows him. Thanks to KoKo's catuition in pointing Qwilleran to the clues, he solves the crimes, KoKo gets a friend in YumYum and a his own press pass. I'm really enjoying the series for times when I want to just turn my brain off and enjoy.

52:13 Managers of Their Homes by Steve and Terri Maxwell

I read this book when I was pregnant with Nico and we were trying to get a good schedule going for homeschooling and adding a new baby to our lives. I spent a lot of time working on it but having the baby that refused to be scheduled, well, that kind of threw some big crimps into things. Now that he's 2 and into EVERYTHING and with all our various activities and therapies and such, I'm really feeling the need for a more clear schedule especially for scheduling Nico's time with big brothers and filling more of his time with activities to try and keep him from accomplishing his plans for world destruction and domination.

So I reread the book and am once again excited about trying to get us on a schedule. I know we need 2 different ones since we have morning activities MWF and afternoon activities TTh but that's ok. I'm starting to get things more organized in a few areas that will help kick the schedule off tho I admit things have been a little crazy since Matt broke his arm but I'm hoping to get the rest of us back doing some of our routines this week and hopefully can start working Matt back in next week as his healing progresses.

This is truly a fabulous book on how to make it all work to accomplish what NEEDS to be done, how to work in things you would like to do, how to say no to what won't work, how to deal with interruptions that are going to crop up, and a whole lot more. I'll be working in some of the FLYLady stuff with my schedule as well and my next read is Managers of Their Chores. I'm sure my children won't enjoy seeing me deeply absorbed in that book. LOL

Shout Out!

So I keep hearing from people out of the blue that they have been keeping up with me via my blog but since many of these people don't leave messages I have no idea who all is reading my blatherings until they mention something so.... I'd love if you read this, to please leave a message under this post just because it would be nice to know who is reading my ramblings and rantings. If you aren't sure I'll remember you (and remember, I have had little sleep for 20mos now and even less over the last week so assume I won't LOL), please add something in to jog what few synapses I have left.

Thanks!

Oh...and just cause....here is a pic of Matthew in his sporty new red cast:


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Insight from the Dalai Lama:
There is no reason to give up hope, because we have this marvelous intelligence. Because of this intelligence we also have a certain positive potential.


State of my sink: It was shiny before dinner and I'm getting ready to go back in and shine it again. It wasn't super pretty over the weekend but first thing I did this morning was get it shining again. I hope FLYLady would be proud of me.

Can this day please be over?????

Please, please, pretty please!!!! My day started at 3:30a with Nico waking up and refusing to go back to sleep for close to 20min. He repeated this at 5a. I didn't get to sleep until around 12m and was up and moving by 6:30a this morning. Well, when I say moving, that is only by the loosest definition as it was sort of a slug-like crawl over to the tea kettle to start that, then over to start the laundry, then over to do the dishes while the tea steeped. I finally got all the kids up and moving by 8a, jumped through the shower and sat down to eat breakfast at 8:55a but at least everyone that needed to be out of the house by 9:15a was dressed and had either already eaten or was eating with me. Then the phone rang at 9a, about 6 bites into breakfast. I spent the next 10min on the phone with Ortho explaining the situation with Matthew to them and trying to figure out what could be done to make him more comfortable. I get told, they are going to check back and I tell them to call my cell since I would be with Jon and Nico at therapy.

I got 3 phone calls during therapy trying to figure out how they were going to handle things and finally got it settled on us coming in at 1:30p to get seen. This then had me calling MIL to ask her to watch the other three boys so I didn't have to chase Nico all over Ortho while trying to take care of Matthew. Of course, the timing of all this left me getting home at 11:30a and needing to leave at 12n. Don't be fooled for a second into thinking that I spent that 1/2hr doing sensible like eating. I was too busy dealing with canceling Matthew's activities for the week.

The next 4hrs are spent dropping off the boys with MIL, getting fast food lunch for Matt and I (4th FF meal in 5 days, *blech*), getting to Ortho, watching them take his cast off, seeing the bruise from the break and the head of the pin that is in his arm, watch him get recast (red this time), wait for xrays, wait for Dr to read xrays and release us, wait to get appointment for recheck in 5wks but gleefully get to cancel the appointment for later this week and the one for next, get other boys from MILs, find out that Nico slipped on the rocks surrounding her koi pond and tore a hole in the netting over it (she seemed a bit upset by this but I have to wonder why he was climbing on those rocks without her being right next to him to he wouldn't fall into the pond???), getting home and putting Nico to sleep.

Then I took a deep breath.

Then I helped Chris with his math, answered phone calls, took Jon and Chris to KSW, arranged to get Matthew's account there put on hold, did the grocery shopping, picked up the boys, and came home.

Then I got to call Kaiser and poison control because daddy left Matthew's tylenol with codeine down and Nico unscrewed the cap and we are pretty sure drank some. We literally had just barely turned our attention from him to dinner and back to him so we know he couldn't have gotten much but still. Ugh!!!! I still want to know what possessed that pharmacist to NOT put a childproof cap on that stuff I'll never know.

I'm going to go eat dinner now and pray that I'm done with Drs for a few days.

His Mattjesty

They ended up cutting up the back of the cast and a little on the top and spreading it a touch to allow more room for the swelling. His poor fingers looked like sausages tho thankfully the circulation was still good. He is on tylenol with codeine every 4hrs for the pain and at the 3hr mark starts asking when he can have more so they said I could alternate it with some advil to make him more comfortable and that we need to make sure to put ice over the cast for 20min every 4hrs to help with the swelling. ER sent a note to Ortho about our visit today so we'll probably hear from them and get in there early next week to get things checked out. He is continuing to be in good humor about the whole thing saying how lucky he was because he broke his left arm and not his right and that it was only a break and not anything worse and so on. We went to Costco after his appointment and since he was close to needing his meds and I hadn't brought them, we used a flatbed cart for him and he found one that someone had stuck the seat part of an office chair to so he rode in style on his throne. His new nickname is "His Mattjesty". Goes well with "His Nickness". LOL

I just don't want all the attention going to his head. His great-uncle happened to be up visiting this weekend and brought his a gallon of ice cream yesterday. Today a shipment of giant chocolate covered strawberries showed up from his great-grandparents and then my MIL came over with this wind chime thing. Plus he has everyone but Nico jumping up to do his bidding.

Back to the ER

Well, the swelling has not gone down, the knuckles are darker, and the skin between the knuckles more pale so we are eating breakfast, packing some stuff to keep us occupied, and back to the ER to get the fit checked. Poor guy. The itching has already started too. Through it all tho, he has continued to amaze me with his wonderful attitude and good humor. He just heard he was going back to the ER and a minute later was coming in laughing to tell me how he had just managed to put on his own sock. He always finds joy in things, a smile in his heart, and a laugh in his soul.