Why am I doing this and where to start...

So why am I doing this? It's a question I often ask myself about so many things. I always feel like I have way too many things on my plate and my to-do list is a mile long and seems to have more things added daily while I rarely cross anything off. So why am I trying to carve out time to blog?

My only answer to that question for myself is....because all my friends are doing it! LOL Seriously, several of them are and they got me to thinking about it. For me, I'm watching my baby grow up. I'm remember that it was this time last year that I found out I was pregnant with my 4th and final child and here it is a year later and he is almost 4mos old and I can't stand how quickly the time is flying. I so wish I could freeze time and keep him a baby for just that much longer.

But yet I turn around and I see his great smile and hear him laugh and remember how 3mos ago, he couldn't do that and my heart swells with so much joy that I start tearing up at how much he has grown but how wonderful this new stage is even tho I miss the last one terribly.

I'm packing up his bassinet now to give to someone else for their precious baby. I'm dropping off a huge bag of his 0-3mos clothes at a local low-income housing complex so others can use them. So many of those clothes were worn by my oldest, now 11½ yr old, and it saddens me to see them go. There are so many memories there. I bought that bassinet for my second son. These things have been such a big part of my life for so many years and while I'm ready to move on and am happy with how my family is now complete, it's still hard to close out this chapter in my life.

So now I'm blogging. Just jotting my thoughts down on the keyboard. I'm watching my oldest going through growing pains as he is starting to enter the turbulant pre-teen years. My second son is still a huge jokester and acts so tough sometimes, but in his heart he is still my sweet boy who loves to cuddle with his mama. My monkey boy is looking so grown up now. He'll be eligible for Kindergarten in the fall and even tho we are homeschooling, I know I'll be bawling come the fall when I realize he is now officially in "school". That just shouldn't be possible. I'm just thankful that he too still loves to cuddle.

So I'm doing this to have something to try and remember these days with. I'm doing this to try to find something positive in each day to think about and reflect back on. I'm doing this in an effort to try and find a few minutes for myself to just think outloud (in a manner of speaking) and try to organize my thoughts. It seems like I have almost no time to even read and answer emails these days. Nico hates being anything less than the center of my universe when he's awake....and he's always awake. LOL I love him to pieces but I think my sanity could use with him taking a good 2-3hr nap each day so I could get a few things done and collect my bearings. I keep telling him if he could do that, I'd be willing to hold him and play with him the rest of the time he's awake. He hasn't taken me up on that yet tho. Probably a good thing as I'm not sure I could actually pull it off but I'd be willing to try. LOL